Thursday, January 15, 2009

Six failures

I have been challenged to list six things about myself, so here are six failures that have defined my life, either in the striving to achieve them or through the neglect that led to them:
  1. I have never managed to sell my art to people who were not friends or family. Very vague and rare efforts never amounted to anything. Oh, did sell three miniatures at the youth exhibition at Helsinki Taidehalli in '89 or so. Yay.
  2. Never got into an art school (three schools, seven attempts). Reasons? Untalented? Unstable? Unmotivated? Undisciplined? Who knows? The Finnish art world has consistently presented a wall of silence. All the feedback I ever get is the absence of my name from lists...
  3. Never ran a marathon, thousands of kilometres of practice running notwithstanding. Part of the annoying, hyperactive image I often present stems from the energy I gained from that.
  4. Never learned a new language after age 15 in spite of occasional attempts at Japanese, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, Nepalese... oh well, fluent Finnish, German, English and reading comprehension of French will have to do.
  5. Never fathered a child. Always fell for women who refused to have one, and poking holes into condoms is not my style. That is still the most painful of all my losses. Too late for that now. I don't have the health to survive child rearing any more.
  6. Never wrote a novel past the first chapter in many attempts. I'll try again this year...
Put them all together and what does it spell?
Sad, pathetic, whining LOSER!!!
These days, I find this complete lack of expectations rather relaxing, actually.

I don't know six bloggers I could bother with this challenge, so the chain ends here.


  1. Mmmm. Osan noista tiesinkin, osa oli uusia. Aika paljon tekstiä kumminkin verrattuna tavallisempiin postauksiisi, vai mitä? :-)

    (mie oon teksti-ihminen, kun kerta)

  2. Tekstillä hankkiudun vain ongelmiin, kuten tänäänkin on huomattu. Jos osaisin rajata ulosantini vain kuviin, kaikki olisi helpompaa.
    Kyllästynyt kaikkeen sanailuun.