Last night, at 3-5am, a car woke me at ten minute intervals to tell me that someone was touching the poor sensitive thing. Why do car owners feel entitled to wake me and a hundred other neighbours to watch over the safety of their metallic pet? If the thing called the police instead, they would probably fine the owner for every false alarm. So why are my services free?
(First rewrite. I'm so sleep-deprived that my arguments get lost within a dozen words...)